The 75 Year Itch
by xSweetSimplicityx
Summary: Insanity ensues as the Cullens get ready for Edward and Bella's 75th wedding anniversary-by planning their second wedding! Can the Cullens prove to be successful wedding planners a second time around? Drabble Series, Post BD. All Canon.
1. Prologue: Happenings

**Hello!**

**So after so much procrastination revolving around writing FanFiction, I finally got off my lazy ass and decided to write something. I've had this idea in my head for a while now, just kind of waiting for someone to possibly write about the same thing. But no one did. So…I decided to take matters into my own hands. Yay!**

**SETTING THE STAGE: Obviously takes place 75 years after Breaking Dawn. The Cullens, plus Jacob, are back in Forks. Or somewhere by there. All of them attend High School, minus Carlisle and Esme, obviously. **

**Lets get on with the show!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Twilight Saga.**

**The 75 Year Itch: **Insanity ensues as the Cullens get ready for Edward and Bella's 75th wedding anniversary: by planning their marriage renewal! Can the Cullens prove to be successful wedding planners, or will the ups and downs of the wedding party have everybody wishing that they should've gone to Vegas? Canon, Post BD, Drabble Series.

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**Prologue - Happenings**

_BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP-_

An alabaster hand quickly slapped the alarm clock, leaving a slight dent on the snooze button. A muffled groan soon followed as the bronze-haired beauty fell back into a deep slumber. However this doze was short lived as a warm hand gently brushed away a bronze lock.

"Ness, its time to wake up…"

A slight stirring about the angelic face was the only response.

"Nessie…"

Her pink lips frowned as she mumbled, "No. Five more minutes." She snuggled herself into the warm arms of beau, nuzzling her cold face into the crook of his neck.

He chuckled. "Ah. So begins the daily battle. In one corner, Miss Renesmee Cullen, the sleeping beauty of the West. And in the other corner, time, reminding Miss Cullen that she has to get up and get herself ready for school. I wonder who will win?"

Renesmee sighed. "I vote to just stay home from school today. How about we stay here, just like this? I don't know about you, Jake, but cuddling sounds a lot better than going to school."

"As much as I love our current state of cuddling, I believe that if you don't get up soon, you'll have to face the annoyance of your overly-protective father. Or worse. Your Aunt." Jacob said jokingly.

"I heard that!" Alice called from downstairs.

Renesmee laughed, stretching her arms out wide. "Fine, fine. I'm getting up!"

With one swift motion, the white duvet was flung off of the two sleepy bodies, revealing Renesmee's pink pajama bottoms and white tank top as well as Jacob's black pajama pants. She couldn't help herself as her eyes grazed over Jacob's defined body with satisfaction.

This didn't go unnoticed. "Mesmerized, aren't you? I know, I can't help but look at my sexy body every time I walk past the mirror. Consider yourself lucky that you wake up to _this_," his muscular arm gestured to his abdominal region, "…every morning."

Snapping out of her haze, she offered a joking smile as she opened the curtains, inviting the little light the Washington overcast had to offer. "I wake up to that because I _have _to. Last time I checked, I'm your soul mate via freaky werewolf bounds; I have no recollection of _me_ choosing _you_ only, what, five minutes after being born and nearly killing my mother? Nice to know you used to have the hots for half-human babies."

Renesmee turned around, only to be confronted with Jacob's burly chest. Looking up, she saw a playful smile displayed on his warm lips. "Are you trying to say that you're dissatisfied with your lot, Miss Cullen?"

Reaching up on her tiptoes, she gave him a quick kiss. "Aside from the fact that your infatuation with me since birth could be considered pedophilia, I consider myself a lucky girl. So no, I'm not dissatisfied. I'm completely unworthy."

Jacob smiled. "You know, when you become all masochistic, you remind me so much of your dad…"

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Really? With the way he and my mom act around each other…being all lovey-dovey and crap…I can hardly imagine him being masochistic."

"Oh God. You have no idea how annoying he was before you came around…"

"Isabella, my love, my nightingale, my twinkling star in the night sky…would you wish to accompany me in hunting later this evening? Nothing satisfies me more than being in the glowing presence of my wonderful wife." Smooth lips made contact with the graceful palm before him.

"Why, of course Edward! How can I pass such a promising evening with my one and only true love? My reason of being? Oh Edward, a night without you would be a night without the stars or the moon! There are no words to describe the amount of love I feel for you!"

The T.V. remote was thrown on the ground. "Will you guys _shut up_! Its like I've been thrown into a nightmare full of sugary-sweet mementos and really bad clichés! Christ! Seventy-four years of this…this…_ugh_! And it hasn't gotten any better! Can I ever watch this fabulous woman in peace?!" In an instant, Emmett huffed out of the room, annoyed to no ends.

Edward laughed. "Success, my darling. We got the T.V. all to ourselves."

Bella giggled, resting her head on her husbands marble shoulder. "Emmett falls for it every time…I think we've gone pro in the art of clearing him out of a room. So how about changing the channel to something more entertaining?"

"Gladly. You would think Emmett would get sick of watching all these old Oprah reruns in the morning…"

Renesmee nearly collided with her uncle as he angrily turned the corner up the stairs. "Woah there Emmett! Whats up with you?"

Emmett crossed his arms. "Tell your parents that if I have to suffer through their nauseating PDA one more time, your Daddys shiny new Audi is gonna be at the bottom of the Puget Sound. I've missed three reruns of Oprah because of them!" He continued his bound up the stairs.

Renesmee could hear her parents laughing in the other room. Jacob stared after Emmett. "To think that a vampire of his size has an infatuation with Oprah reruns…he never ceases to amaze me."

They both followed into the next room to meet Edward and Bella. Caught up in each others embrace, the beautiful vampires continued to whisper and giggle to themselves, stealing kisses when the other wasn't looking. Renesmee couldn't help but smile; looking at her parents and how they overcame all odds to be with each other gave her immense hope that her relationship with Jacob will last for an eternity as well.

Jacob cleared his throat, clearly unfazed by the usual act. "Well, good morning to you two. Glad to know we are all getting a recap of yet another passionate night between you guys."

Edward looked up. "Oh really? Don't think that I don't know what _you guys_ do behind closed doors." He made a tapping gesture to his forehead. "Next time, keep your morning thoughts about my daughter G-Rated."

Renesmee couldn't help but blush. Bella playfully slapped Edwards chest. "Hush, you. Stop embarrassing her." Getting up swiftly, Bella embraced her daughter. "Good morning sweetheart. Sleep okay?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. You have no idea how hard it is to get a good night of sleep when your uncles continue to wrestle outside your door. How many portraits did they break this time? I heard three crashes…"

Her father chuckled. "Three portraits, plus a vase."

"It was Emmetts fault! Again!" Jasper yelled from the kitchen.

"It was _totally_ my fault that you missed tackling me and took out the wall instead! Oh yeah, _my bad_!" Emmett called back from upstairs.

"Oh, will you boys cut it out! One more argument and I swear to God, my vase wont be the only thing that's broken!" Renesmee heard Esme yell from the kitchen.

Edward chuckled, turning his attention back towards his wife and daughter. "You know, Renesmee, just when I thought you couldn't look more like your mom, you continue to resemble her."

Visibly blushing again, Renesmee mentally compared herself to her mother. Although she will never be as pretty, she was close in comparison. They were about the same height, with the same perfectly proportioned body. Renesmee's hair still retained her fathers bronze color, and fell in perfect loose curls down the small of her back. Because she was still half human, Renesmee still regained her mothers chocolate brown eyes and the slight blush to her cheeks. But her skin will never be as pale, would never twinkle as much in the sun, or be as tough as her mothers vampire one. However, this did allow Renesmee to blend in with humans easier, as they both shared a beating heart.

She quickly changed the subject. Catching a wiff of the warm aroma, she sighed with hunger. "Mmm…I smell Esmes pancakes! Lets dig in, Jake!"

Jacob followed her into the kitchen where they joined the rest of the Cullens. Carlisle was casually reading a newspaper, Alice was rearranging the flower display, Rosalie and Jasper were cleaning up the kitchen, while Esme was preparing a plate for Jacob and Renesmee.

Carlisle looked up. "Ah, good morning Renesmee. And you, Jacob." He greeted warmly.

She gave Carlisle a quick kiss on the cheek. "Morning, grandfather."

"I hope you two are hungry, because theres a lot of pancakes here!" Esme said, placing two plates full of food on the table for them.

Jacob quickly sat down, eying the food with delight. "Oh trust me, you wont need to worry about leftovers." He began to shove forkfuls into his mouth.

Rosalie gave a look of disgust. "Ew, Jacob. Maybe we should switch you back to the doggie bowl."

Renesmee fought back a giggle as she began eating. Although it wasn't as satisfying as blood, Esme's cooking still hit the spot. Her parents only let her go hunting once every two months, just enough to keep her from focusing on her human bloodlust. Even though she was almost as good as her parents with her self-control, the family was still paranoid about possible slip-ups.

By the time her and Jacob were done eating, the rest of the family joined in the large kitchen, enjoying some casual time before the "children" had to go to school. Times like these where the atmosphere was completely relaxed and light-hearted was Renesmee's most favorite time to spend with the family. Whether it was intentional or with the help of her uncle Jasper, she did not care. It gave her the sense of togetherness among her abnormal family.

"So, lovebirds, excited for your big seventy-fifth this summer?" Jasper asked, directing attention to Edward and Bella, who were casually leaning against the doorframe.

Bella shrugged. "Well, we know its coming up…but we haven't put any thought into it…"

"Its no big deal to us. We have no desire to celebrate outside our family. To us, every night is an anniversary. One more day together." Edward continued, looking into Bella's eyes.

Emmett scoffed. "Ugh, gag me now. But really, no celebration? No reception? No second, er, fiftieth honeymoon?

Renesmee interjected. "Yeah…I mean, seventy-five years. That's a big deal."

Alice grabbed the empty plates in front of Jacob and Renesmee, walking to place them in the dishwasher. "Obviously this kind of achievement calls for a-" Alice froze, dropping the two plates with a loud clash.

Jasper was by her side in less than a second. "Alice? Alice! Whats wrong?!"

Alice snapped out of her haze with a huge grin. "Oh my God, _that's it_!"

"Whats _it_?" Carlisle asked concerned.

The pixie-like vampire waltzed over to Edward and Bella. "You're going to renew your vows! How _perfect_!"

Edward looked at her strangely. "No, we aren't. We went over this."

"_Yes_ you _are_. I saw it! Oh, its going to be so great!"

"And who do you think is going to plan this marriage renewal?" Esme questioned.

Alice jumped up and down, giddy with excitement. "_We_ are. Altogether as a _family_!"

"Oh, no we aren't! We are _not_ planning another wedding, Alice!" Bella shook her head furiously.

"Don't worry. You guys," Alice gestured back at Bella and Edward, "don't have to plan anything. We're going to be doing all the work. All you have to do is show up!"

Emmett rubbed his hands together. "Hell yeah! I'm _so _in! This weddings gonna be awesome!"

"I guess I'll help. I've always been good at party planning. But, then again, is there anything I'm _not_ good at?" Rosalie said, leaning against Emmetts chest.

Esme smiled at the possibilities. "This is another perfect opportunity for some unique family bonding! Don't you think, Carlisle?"

Carlisle wrapped his arms around his wife, kissing her sweetly. "Why, of course. I would love to witness another wonderful wedding."

"Yes! Oh my gosh, I get to help plan a wedding! Don't worry, Mom and Dad, its going to be mind-blowing!" Renesmee exclaimed, smiling happily to her aunt. "I swear, Alice, you're ideas are the greatest!"

"Woah, oh no. No, no, no. There will be _no_ wedding!" Edward called, pointing his finger at every family member.

"Aw, dad…" Renesmee got up and placed her angelic face on her father's shoulders, "must you always be such a party pooper? Come on, you have nothing to worry about. The family's got it all taken care of…"

"Yeah, Eddie…" Jacob received a death glare from the vampire, "…just think about how happy it will make all of us…"

Bella looked like she was torn, and the stare she was receiving from Jasper didn't help. "Oh, Jasper, cut it out!"

Jasper laughed aloud. Edward looked down at his daughter, who was giving him her best puppy eyes. With Edwards painful expression, clearly the silent begging was working. "Aw, Renesmee…stop staring like that…you know I cant say no to that…"

Alice jumped with excitement. "Yes! Oh, this is so great! I got to start writing down ideas!" With that, the small vampire flew out of the room and bounded up the stairs in an instant.

"Hey! That wasn't a definite yes!" Bella called after her sister.

"Its no use. Shes already started." Esme said, picking up the shards of what used to be the porcelain plates.

Renesmee hugged her father. "Yay! Oh, thank you daddy! Trust me, this will be the most beautiful wedding you've ever seen!" She grabbed Jacob and ran to follow her aunt up the stairs.

"And probably the most expensive." Carlisle chuckled.

"But don't worry, it will all be done in good taste." Rosalie called over her shoulder while walking out of the room with Emmett.

Jasper smiled at Edward. "You're welcome."

"What, do you think I wanted this?" Edward retorted.

Jasper shrugged and walked out to follow his other siblings, leaving a very annoyed Edward and a defeated Bella.

"What did we just agree to?" She asked, horrified.

"That's the thing, we didn't agree to it." Edward sighed.

They could hear Alice shouting from upstairs, "No Emmett, _Victoria's Secret _is not a valid theme for this wedding!"

Edward rubbed the bridge of his nose. "We are so screwed."

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**I know, it started off really slow, but I had to get the ball rolling somehow…I promise, It WILL get better! I already have a few drabbles in the making. Like I said, it's a loose plot with most drabbles revolving around the planning. So please review! Tell me what you think :]**

**xSweetSimplicityx**


	2. Themes

**Alrighty…heres chapter one of this FIERCE epic. Ha. Not really. Its just the first thing that popped into my mind.**

**Just to clarify…I think weddings are annoying. Its just a waste of money. Vegas is only a plane ride away. So heres my take on the ridiculousness of it all.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight is owned by Stephenie Meyer.

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**Chapter One: Themes**

The Cullens gathered in the living room. With their mates, they huddled around the whiteboard, which displayed an intricately drawn and twice thought out table of suggestions. Alice was adding some finishing touches to her piece of art, while Bella and Edward stared at the whiteboard of death in horror.

"And…done!" Alice capped the white erase marker with a _pop_. "Alright gang, listen closely. Up here we have a very important table. Now this table will decide the fate of Edward and Bella's nuptials. It needs to be taken very seriously. And yes, Emmett. I am talking to _you_."

Emmett looked offended. "Hey! I had some very creative ideas, mind you! You're just too picky and don't appreciate my sixth sense for awesome themes."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Anyways, like I was saying. Here are the five themes in which we will all cast a vote on our favorite one. The themes are: going green, with the color scheme including various greens, sand, browns, and sky blue. Second, Renaissance, colors including rich burgundies, golds, and forest green, and not to mention beautiful costumes. Third, vintage, with details in cream, soft pinks, and yellows. Fourth, _Fall_-ing in Love Again, with fall colors such as deep reds, browns, and oranges. And lastly, for the benefit of the male population, Victoria's Secret, with hues of pink and red."  
"And lingerie!" Emmett interjected.

Bella groaned. Edward shot a glare at his brother.

Alice snapped her fingers. "Attention here, people! Okay, so my vote is vintage. So classy and chic! Nessie?"

Renesmee pondered for a bit. "Hmm…well, vintage does sound nice, but the fall colors are so beautiful…and going green is an eco-friendly approach, which I like too…but I love the Rennaissance, so…"

"Make up your mind, woman!" Jacob joked.

She threw her hands up. "Fine, fine…the fall one."

Alice flinched with her first opposition. "Okay. What about you, Jacob?"

"Victoria's Secret, all the way!" He hooted, high fiving Emmett.

"Ew, men are such pigs. I vote for vintage. The whole push up bust thing really outlines my figure well." Rosalie agreed with her sister, giving her a nod.

Alice smiled. "Esme and Carlisle?"

Esme sighed whistfully. "Oh, imagine the flower arrangements for the going green theme…that has my vote!"

"Falling in Love Again. I agree with Renesmee. The colors are magnificent." Carlisle said.

Alice turned her attention to Jasper. "Fine. And you?"

Jasper never felt more pressured in his life. Alice was giving him the you-better-agree-with-me-or-you're-not-getting-any-for-a-month look, while Emmett was making punching gestures with his face and giving him the agree-with-me-or-you're-dead look. Not to mention Edward was giving him the _help me! For God's sake, help me!_ look. "Um…uh…well, uh…"

If vampires could sweat, Jasper would have buckets. He continued glancing from his wife, to his menacing brother, to his desperate other one. "Uh…I choose…Renaissance! Renaissance! Stop looking at me like that!"

Jacob shook his head. "Wow. What a fairy. This guy would rather dress in _tights_."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Okay, Edward. You?"

He put his hands up. "I vote on having _no_ wedding-"

"Overruled!" Alice yelled, silencing him. "Okay Bella, looks like its up to you…Vintage and Fall are tied for two."

"Hey! Don't forget Victoria's Secret!" Emmett corrected.

Alice scoffed. "Are you kidding?! That's been overruled since you first mentioned it.

Emmett crossed his arms. "No fair."

Bella looked uneasy. "Oh, please don't make me choose! I hate picking sides. I wasn't good at is as a human, either. I always screw things up!"

Jacob sneered. "Ha! That's for sure!"

She shot a look at Jacob. "Well if it wasn't for my _choice_, you wouldn't be here, infatuated with my _daughter_, would you?! Yeah. Didn't think so."

Alice stomped her foot. "Jeez! Pick something already!"

Bella continued to fumble. "Well, I guess I pick-"

"Vintage it is!" Alice exclaimed cheerfully.

"No fair! She hasn't said anything!" Emmett defended.

"Overruled!"

He sighed in defeat. "Fine. If that's the theme, I call dibs on gift bags and party favors!"

Alice waved a hand at him. "Okay, whatever."

Emmett punched a fist in the air. "Hell yes!"

"Well, at least the bridesmaids dresses will be cute. That's all I'm concerned about." Rosalie dismissed casually. "Plus, soft pink compliments Nessie, don't you think?"

Renesmee blushed. "Aw, thanks, Rose. You'll look fantastic, as always."

"I know." Rosalie smiled back.

Esme clapped her hands together. "Oh, I can only imagine what beautiful roses can be included in the flower arrangement! And daisies, too!"

Jasper tried sneaking out of the room, but was caught by Emmett. "Don't think that you're gonna get away with preferring to wear tights and feathered hats."

Jasper gulped and giggled uncomfortably in response. Jacob was on the other side of him in an instant, smiling menacingly. "You know what, Emmett? It's never too late to force good old Jazzy here into some poofy shorts and tights. As a matter of fact, I think we just found the headlining entertainment at the reception!"

Jasper ran out the door as fast as he could, with Emmett and Jacob hot on his tail.

Alice stood in front of Edward. "See? That wasn't so bad. You're walking away with a damn good theme in the bag."

"But I don't even want a theme…" Edward mumbled. "This is so pointless…"

Bella put her arm around her husband, sighing tiredly. "Just let them have their fun. It will all be over…in a couple months."

Edward groaned. "There's no use arguing, is there?" Bella shook her head sadly. Edward rubbed his temples. "This is going to be a long couple of months."

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**So, this is only the beginning of one very long and excruciation wedding plan. Soon to come: Rock, paper, scissors over napkins, invitations and VIPS, Emmett's gift bags, bridesmaid dresses mishaps, and many more!**

**Reviews please!**

**xSweetSimplicityx**


	3. Gossip

**Ha. I'm trying to get the ball rolling a bit…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

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**Gossip**

Edward sighed as he pulled his silver Volvo SUV into the student parking lot of St. Vincent's Academy. He couldn't help but smile mordantly. _Catholic school. God. Religion. How did we wind up here? _Aside from the fact that the family wanted a better education for Renesmee, the Cullens presence at the religious institution was almost ironic.

Bella, sitting casually in the front seat, fumbled with the pleats of her skirt. "When I was a human, I always wished to go to a Catholic school. I wanted to wear the uniforms. The skirts, the button ups, the blazers…now that I'm in them, I want to burn it."

"Tell me about it." Renesmee and Jacob chorused from the backseat.

Edward pulled into his designated parking spot. Rosalie parked next to him with Emmett, Alice, and Jasper filing out of her cream BMW sedan. They all made their way to the quad to kill some time before the first period bell rang.

Renesmee looked up at the clouds. It was another chilly day with a slight chance of rain. She grabbed her uniform sweatshirt out of her black backpack and put it on lazily. She then added a scarf for extra warmth.

"Are you cold?" Rosalie asked, reaching into her Chanel tote to offer her blazer with a smile. "Take it. I wont need it."

"No, its fine…" Renesmee shook her head, "It just sucks to know that you're basically immune to all weather patterns and Jake has a constant fever. I'm the only one that freezes in this damn uniform." She kicked a pebble with her black flats.

Jacob wrapped a warm arm around her small body. "There. You'll warm up in a few seconds."

Alice sat down on their usual park bench under a pine tree, which offered an amazing view of the quad. Even after a couple months into the school year, the students still couldn't get over the presence of the Cullen family. Maybe it had to do with the complicated back story that they made up. Supposedly, Emmett and Bella McCarty are siblings who were adopted into the family as young children. Edward, Alice, and Renesmee Cullen are Carlisle's nieces and nephew, adopted after their parents died tragically in a car accident. Rosalie and Jasper Hale are Esme's niece and nephew, adopted after their parents strangely disappeared. And Jacob was a runaway that the Cullens were so nice to accommodate. What was even harder to believe was the fact that they were all involved in open relationships with each other; jealous classmates argued that this was wrong on both a moral and ethical level. However, despite their sketchy back story, the Cullens still walked the campus as if it were a runway, excelled in every subject, and dazzled any soul brave enough to stare into their golden eyes.

But some souls were annoyingly cocky. Case in point, the blond haired boy who strutted over to the Cullens, a football in hand. He winked at the girls. "Good morning, ladies."

The boys growled and pulled their mates into a protective embrace. It didn't faze the boy as he stepped closer to the brown haired vampire. "So, _Isabella_," he said with a horrible Italian accent, "did you study for the English test? I heard it was hard. But not as hard as my-"

"THAT'S IT!" Edward growled as he grabbed his collar and pushed him up against the tree trunk. "Kevin, is it?" He gave a whimper and a nod, dropping the ball as a potential peace offering. "Okay. Well, _Kevin_, that will be the last time you utter a word to my _wife_!" The word was out before the golden eyed god could stop himself.

Alice took a sharp breath as Kevins eyes widened curiously. "Uh…wife?"

"Smooth, _Edward_." Renesmee emphasized her fathers name with annoyance. Bella smacked her palm against her forehead, while her pixie-like sister looked on furiously.

"Great!" Alice threw her hands up. "Now the whole school will find out about your _engagement_, Edward! I was really looking forward to passing out the wedding announcements too!" She pouted with emphasis towards her brother.

Edward blinked a couple of times, and let go of Kevin, embarrassed. "Oh, right…looks like I got carried away. I meant _fiancée_. Though that doesn't really make a difference."

Kevin looked like he was having a hard time catching on. "Er, what?!"

Emmett gave Edward a pat on the back, covering up. "Yup! This guy finally grew a pair and asked her to be his _one true love_, _nightingale_, _twinkling star in the night sky_, his-"

"Okay, he gets it, Emmett." Rosalie silenced.

The shocked human blinked a couple times, nodding. "Oh. Well then. Uh…congratulations? Um, I think, uh…Mackenzie is calling me…yeah, she's over there…yeah…well I better go see what she wants!"

They all knew Mackenzie wasn't calling him, but were too glad to be rid of his annoyance anyways. This relaxed air was spoiled as Alice hit Edward over the head with her binder. "Way to go, idiot!"

He blocked his head from another attack with his pale arms. "Hey! I'm _sorry_! I doubt he's going to tell anyone anyways!"

Jasper shuffled his feet back and forth. "Too late." He mumbled.

"What?"

Jasper sighed. "He already told Haley. And Jennifer. And Ashlyn. That's half of ASB."

"And he's about to tell everyone at the lunch tables." The psychic concluded with a glare. "Everyone's gonna know by lunchtime. _Way to go_."

Jacob tried lightening the mood. "Well, its better than passing out invitations to everyone. Now everybody can find out the details by themselves!" With the looks he was getting from the group, this didn't help.

The first period bell rang. The Cullens sighed jadedly.

Renesmee looked towards the buildings, where a significant amount of the student population gathered and proceeded to whisper and point towards her family. "Well, might as well get it over with. C'mon."

"Yeah. Bella and Edward, lets get English over with. We'll see you guys later." Alice said, pulling them both along and ignoring the stares they received as they entered the doors of St. Vincent's.

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_Their relationship was that serious?_

_Man, Cullen is lucky. That McCarty girl is hot._

_I wonder if they had sex yet…_

_She must be pregnant! Let me see if there's a bump…_

_Damn. I hate Bella. She gets to spend the rest of her life with a god. Lucky bitch._

_Cats. Cats…fuzzy cats…_

Edward rubbed the bridge of his nose as he was bombarded with so many thoughts. Even the teacher heard and was eying Bella with jealousy. Clenching and unclenching his fists, he looked to his sister, who only glared back.

"Remember, this is all your fault." She whispered angrily, so low no human could hear.

The mind reader crossed his arms, scowling back. "Me? How is it my fault? If you weren't so damn persistent about planning this god-forsaken celebration, we wouldn't be in this current situation!"

Bella kicked the both of them under the table. "Guys, will you shut up already! We need to handle this like adults. No use complaining about it. What we should be complaining about is how everyone thinks I'm pregnant! I don't look fat, do I?"

"No Bella, you look fine. Stop being so paranoid." Alice dismissed, continuing to stare at her brother.

Bella was reassured, but only for a minute, as the student behind her leaned over. "So, have you thought about baby names yet?"

She stood up and yelled in frustration. "Oh for God's sake! _I'm not pregnant_!"

The class was silenced as they all turned and looked at her. Bella huffed, and sat back down embarrassed.

"Excuse you, Miss McCarty! Keep your personal problems to yourself!" The teacher chastised.

"Sorry, Mrs. Allory." She mumbled.

The small vampire sighed, covering her face. "Way to handle it like an _adult_, Bella."

"Its only going to get worse from here, right Alice?" Edward asked quietly.

"If you mean its only going to get more mortifying, then yes. Perfect. This is exactly how I wanted to go about announcing it." She pouted, her ideas on the extravagantly planed engagement parade out the window.

Bella sulked. "This is more humiliating than it was the first time around."

"And its not even lunch yet…" Alice concluded glumly.

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**I can tell you some horror stories about Catholic school. Personal experience. But I decided to put the gang in because the image of the Cullen boys in uniforms was too hot to pass up :)**

**Next, lunchtime…and rock paper scissors? **

**Review!**

**xSweetSimplicityx**


	4. Showdown

**Thanks for the reviews! This is actually a true story. I witnessed an event along the lines of this today at school. It gave me inspiration.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

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**Showdown**

Lunch was excruciating. With everyone whispering about the news of Bella and Edwards wedding-their first, the humans naively thought- the Cullens found it hard to drone out the lulls of the shocked teenagers. Many continued to sneak glances towards their table, often times staring at Bella's stomach for any sign of early pregnancy. These stares never lasted for more than two seconds as Edward fought back with a menacing gaze of his own.

Rosalie crossed her arms, smiling sarcastically. "Well, congratulations you two. The whole school can celebrate your nuptials in unison."

Renesmee rested her head on the cold surface of the lunch table to ease her growing headache. "All this stupidity is hurting my brain…"

Jasper was gently hitting his head on the wall, trying to single out all of the emotions in the overflowing cafeteria. The reactions of the students was overwhelming, and it only added more pressure on Jasper's nerves. "Too. Many. Emotions." He said, hitting his head with every word. He pointed to Edward. "Jealousy towards you from most of the male population. In a way they congratulate you, though." He extended a finger towards Bella. "You, not so much. Mostly hatred."

Bella groaned, collapsing on the table surface. "But I didn't do anything! This is _so_ ridiculous!"

"Its only ridiculous because _Edward_ lost his cool for a mere second!" Emmett accused.

"Oh, don't you dare get me started on you right now, Emmett!" Alice seethed to the muscular vampire.

"What did I do now?!"

A pale fist slammed onto the table, leaving a small indentation. "Don't you _dare_ play dumb with me, Emmett McCarty Cullen!" The pixie vampire squealed. "I _saw_ you blabbing about it to the whole _administration_! Not only do all the students know, now all the teachers and office too! Ugh!"

"You told the administration?!" Edward growled.

Jacob high fived Emmett. "Nice, dude!"

Emmett returned the high five, pointing to Jacob. "Yeah! This guy knows whats up!"

"This is not something to be celebrated! Do you know how much those ladies in the front office gossip?! The whole town will find out by the end of the night!" Bella screetched.

Rosalie slapped him upside his head. "Way to go!"

Jasper slammed his palms on the table, calling order. "Guys! Chill out! Arguing and pointing fingers is _not_ helping. We need to get over it and figure out what we'll do next."

The whole table was quiet. For once, the Cullens noticed that the cafeteria shushed down to mere whispers as everybody looked at the Cullen's table. No doubt they heard half of the arguments that transpired over the course of five minutes.

"I think its time for a PSA…" Renesmee mumbled.

"Good idea, Ness!" Alice cheered, somewhat serious. She clapped her hands, maneuvering to stand on top of her chair. Even though this brought her total height to just under six feet, it helped her believe that she was still above everyone. "Can I have your attention!"

The cafeteria was dead silent as they all turned to look at the psychic vampire. "Thank you. As many of you already know, Edward and Bella have agreed to tie the knot! Can we get a round of applause for Edward finally growing a pair! Come on, everyone!"

It didn't take a rocket scientist to know that Alice was getting back at her brother for the spectical he made of himself before school. He fought back with a menacing, don't-forget-my-room-is-down-the-hall-from-your-room smile. Sporadic applause went around the cafeteria.

"Anyways, like I was saying. The wedding isn't for a while, so none of you need to worry. What I can say is that it's going to be the biggest celebration of the _century_!"

"Alice!" Bella hissed. "Don't tell them anymore!"

There were a couple of cheers from the football table. "Oh yeah! Lets party!"

Emmett stood up, no chair needed to add to his height. "Maybe you guys can help us to plan the next stage in the wedding…"

This time it was Alice to shoot a look. "Emmett, what are you talking about?"

He quieted his sister with a smile. Whether it was supposed to be comforting or maniacal, she would never know. "You see," he continued, "I'm in charge of choosing the colors of the bridesmaids dresses."

"WHAT?!" The Cullens all screeched. There were confused whispers around the cafeteria.

"Yes, I know, quite shocking. Who would've known that a sexy guy like me could have such a passion for fashion? Maybe you guys can help me in deciding the colors. I'm torn between a mustard yellow and white…"

Alice twitched, just shy of a seizure. "Emmett, _oh so fabulous fashion guru_, you must _know_ that both those colors are a fashion faux pas!"

Emmett silenced her with yet another smile. Alice couldn't help but feel attacked. "Now, if you guys want to help me decide, please place a vote. All for mustard yellow, raise your-"

"Woah, Emmett, I think there's been some confusion…" Rosalie interjected. The Cullens sighed in relief, glad for once that Rosalie spoke up. "Don't you remember, darling? _I _am in charge of bridesmaids dresses."

There were hollers as the students witnessed the couple staring at each other, both of them trying to get the other to back down; too bad that they were both stubborn.

Finally, Emmett laughed. "Well guys, its your lucky day! It seems like theres gonna be a showdown to decide the colors!"

Alice looked like she was ready to lose it. "This is _not_ a matter to be discussed at school!"

"Oh Alice, don't be such a control freak." Jacob quipped. He was silenced by yet another threatening stare.

"Rock, paper, scissors, darling?" Emmett asked with fake concern.

The students whispered with excitement, as they were about to witness the two gorgeous vampires quarrel.

Rosalie smiled at her competition. "You. Me. Outside. Now. _Bring it_."

* * *

The whole school gathered in a circle around Rosalie and Emmett, who were dead center. The rest of the Cullens watched around them with anxiety. The students loved every bit of it, already starting a betting pool and choosing sides. Most of the girls were in favor of Rosalie, standing behind her in the circle. The guys were in favor of Emmett, cheering him on and hollering at the girls.

"Lets make this showdown more interesting?" Rosalie asked sarcastically. "If I win, which I am, the dresses will be in a pastel pink. And _you_ will show up to school tomorrow in my uniform. _Skirt and all_." She smiled wickedly at her mate, who didn't even flinch back. The girls cheered behind her.

Emmett chuckled. "Done. Now if _I _win, the dresses will be in mustard yellow. Oh, and you wont be allowed to wear makeup. _For two whole months_." The boys hollered, patting him on the back.

Rosalie reacted slightly as she frowned for a second. "It's a deal. Lets get on with it!"

The students quieted down, all eyes focused on the two vampires. Edward and Bella's eyes darted back and forth, secretly cheering on Rosalie. Alice covered her mouth, already seeing the outcome of the situation. Jacob and Jasper were on Emmetts side, whispering pep talks into his ear. And Renesmee was the only one out of the family who was enjoying the excitement.

Emmett and Rosalie stared at each other, eyes intense. It all came down to this. They each held their fists out, watching carefully for any signs of an early attack. The air was tense, the witnesses to such a riveting showdown silent.

"Ready, sweetie?" Rosalie asked, her voice like poison honey. Emmett didn't even dignify her with a response, but simply started the count.

"One…Two…Three!"

He should've seen it coming; he'd had his weapon prepared, but at the last minute, had gone against his gut. It was something he'd never done before, and the result to this matter of life-and-death was a reminder to never do it again.

Rosalie laughed out loud. "HAH! I TOLD YOU!"

The girls cheered, using her victory as one over the male population. Edward and Bella were secretly ecstatic as they look towards their blonde sister with appreciation. But no one was as relieved as Alice, as she looked like she was about to break out into a victory dance over her brother.

Jacob and Jasper shook their heads at their brother, knowing that he was going to get plenty of insults for it tonight and tomorrow.

The air around the circle immediately relaxed, many of the men disappointed, yet making fun of Emmett, who could do nothing but scowl at his hand. "Never again…" he muttered.

Never again would he doubt his instinct. Never again would he be able to claim an easy victory over his mate. Never again would he be able to show his face when he showed up to school the next day in Rosalie's plaid skirt and sweater.

Never again would he challenge Rosalie to a game of rock-paper-scissors.

* * *

**Because we all want Emmett in a skirt. **

**Review please!**


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